You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
