I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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