We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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