yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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