I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
