I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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