But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
