Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize