I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
