and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
