Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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