dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
