In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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