That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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