so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
