That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
