then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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