you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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