I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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