garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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