i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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