he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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