We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot