I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.