We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.