Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
