watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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