Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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