Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
