Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
