nut hugger
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
