OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
