New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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