I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
