road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
