White coat. Heels.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
