he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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