Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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