Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
