Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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