Just fell off a train. Bad.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
