You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ketchup is God's man juice
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
