I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
