i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
