hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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