I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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