SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
