just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh god it's open bar.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
