You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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