After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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