they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
