I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
