I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
