Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
