her vagine was all disorganized.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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