bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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