That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
