omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
