I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
